Break! Brake! BRRRRREAK!

What day is today? Honestly, since I feel like I squeeze 3 days into every 1 day, most days I feel like I am a month ahead of myself. But then, why am I always behind? I started the day with a whirlwind rush to drop the boys at school (no Subway sandwich today) but the XL coffee was a must for me. In fact, I think they should install coffee makers into cars so that when you hit the remote start in the morning, it starts to brew. Anyway, after the drop, I began my usual ritual of applying my make-up - or as I refer to it - putting on my MASK. YES - I do it while I am driving and will continue to do so until they make it ILLEGAL. So - there I am - cruising along - applying make-up base with a brush - when I notice someone waving at me from the left. It was a truck-load of construction workers giving me the OKAY sign. Needless to say - since I turned 40, any approval of my appearance makes me giddy - so I waved back and got out the eye shadow. I think a great invention for girls like me (who make-up in the auto) would be a cape (to protect my black clothes) that contains a variety of pockets and loops for the make-up and supplies. Then I could just put on the cape when I get into the car and take it off when I pull into the parking garage. Actually, now that I think about it, it could be sort of a Mary Kay SuperHero Costume. Hey, remember that episode of the Jetson's when Judy was feeling less than perfect and had to answer the video phone? She just whipped out a mask to cloak her visual despair and chatted away. Finally, something to look forward to in the future!

Today, when walking through the concourse (or as I call it - the mole path), an Herbal Magic representative accosted me and gave me a 'stress broccoli' and and a recipe for 'Cajun Potatoes'. Since when does the idea of squeezing a rubbery broccoli make you want to eat it? And - I wonder how many of these types of Landfill Chushkas (spelling TBD-since I'm not Jewish) our ancestors will find in the future? So the Landfill Chushka Broccoli is sitting here at my desk emitting a strong plastic odor - no doubt poisonous - and I realized that I have been stopped twice in the past month by weight loss 'professionals' on the street - one for Curves and now Herbal Magic. There is part of me that wishes that my 'Inner Monique' would have come out and said, 'Kiss my BIG BUTT'. Alas - the softer repressed Baptist Southern Girl said thanks and took the stupid broccoli. I guess I will deal with the repercussions of guilt when I toss it into the trash. PLEASE PEOPLE - STOP MAKING THIS CRAP. And - to those weight loss professionals who feel the need to stop every voluptuous girl - KISS MY BIG BUTT.